Heather Osterman-Davis – Medium

Heather Osterman-Davis

Heather Osterman-Davis
in
The Belladonna Comedy

It’s Me, Your Gravy Boat. Your Moment of Pretentiousness Has Led to My Lifetime of Loneliness

No gravy train for me.

3 min readMay 7, 2024

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It’s Me, Your Gravy Boat. Your Moment of Pretentiousness Has Led to My Lifetime of Loneliness

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
Frazzled

Hey, It’s Me, Your Dead Mom

I’m So Glad You Contacted This Medium Because Not Being Able to Tell You What You’re Doing Wrong Has Been Hard on Me

3 min readMay 6, 2024

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This image shows a person standing in a rural, grassy landscape dressed in a white ghost costume, reminiscent of a simple Halloween ghost with two eye holes cut out for visibility. They are on a path that looks to wind down a hill, with a body of water and hills in the distant background. The sky is overcast, contributing to a moody atmosphere.

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
The Belladonna Comedy

Messages to the Member Who Dared Give That “Only Slightly Expired Can of Corn” She Posted on the…

I’ve been checking all day, but I see you haven’t selected a winner yet. I hope you didn’t read that recipe and decide to keep the corn!

4 min readAug 9, 2023

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Messages to the Member Who Dared Give That “Only Slightly Expired Can of Corn” She Posted on the…

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
Frazzled

Math Problems for Parents of Children with Severe Illnesses or Anyone Who Hates Insurance

It just doesn’t add up

3 min readJul 26, 2023

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Math Problems for Parents of Children with Severe Illnesses or Anyone Who Hates Insurance

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

Happy Valley Elementary School Addresses Student Mental Health by Putting the Fun into Active…

Let’s turn those frowns upside down!

3 min readMay 3, 2023

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Happy Valley Elementary School Addresses Student Mental Health by Putting the Fun into Active…

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
Slackjaw

Re: Your Request To Amend Our FMLA Policy To Include Appearing On Reality-TV

Dear Ms. Carson,

3 min readJun 28, 2022

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Re: Your Request To Amend Our FMLA Policy To Include Appearing On Reality-TV

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
The Belladonna Comedy

Daily Itinerary Of A Woman On Day 31 Of The Whole30 Diet

Reintroduce foods like the boss you are!

3 min readFeb 5, 2022

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Daily Itinerary Of A Woman On Day 31 Of The Whole30 Diet

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
Frazzled

This Halloween Must Be a Maskless One…Even the Costume Kind

How to avoid the slippery slope from Jason to KN-95

3 min readOct 22, 2021

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This Halloween Must Be a Maskless One…Even the Costume Kind

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
Frazzled

Agenda for a Mom Whose Kids Are Returning to School For the First Time

7:10 AM: Blink against the light trickling through the blinds, struggle to identify the unusual feeling. Shout, “Hope! It’s hope.” When…

4 min readAug 30, 2021

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Agenda for a Mom Whose Kids Are Returning to School For the First Time

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Heather Osterman-Davis
in
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

I Mistakenly Received Your Instacart Order and Have Some Questions About Your Life Choices

I don’t judge a book by its cover but I will judge you for what’s in your shopping bag

3 min readJul 18, 2021

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I Mistakenly Received Your Instacart Order and Have Some Questions About Your Life Choices

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Heather Osterman-Davis

Heather Osterman-Davis

Heather’s main goal is turning trauma into comedy. Her work’s appeared in The New York Times; McSweeney’s; Washington Post; Slackjaw; The Belladonna and more.

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